You regularly get freebies at your favorite restaurants.
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You know the restaurant's wait staff, chef and owner on a first-name basis.
You have your own table at your favorite restaurant.
You have nothing in your fridge but restaurant doggie bags and takeout containers.
Your friends know to take you out to eat on your birthday.
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You have a "usual" at your favorite restaurant.
Your home library is filled with cookbooks and tomes about food.
You follow famous chefs like (left to right) Nobuyuki Matsuhisa, Ferran Adria, Joel Robuchon and Heston Blumenthal -- pictured at the 2009 World Summit of Gastronomy -- the way most people follow celebrities.
You have multiple bookmarked and dog-eared copies of the Zagat Restaurant Guide at home.
You'll think nothing of buying a plane ticket to visit famous restaurants like Paula Deen's The Lady and Sons in Savannah, Ga.
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You're likely to read the restaurant section of the newspaper before the news.
You'll order several different dishes at a restaurant just to compare them.
You look forward to restaurant openings -- like this one for New York's Otarian in April 2010 -- the way most people look forward to movie premieres.
You've gained weight from all your dinners out.
All of those expensive dinners out have left you short on funds -- repeatedly.
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When you describe or critique food, friends compare you to critics like "Iron Chef" judge Jeffrey Steingarten.
You use your stove so rarely that you examine it like a foreign object.
You choose an apartment that doesn't even have a kitchen -- which isn't outside the realm of possibility in New York City.