10 Things the Pizza Delivery Guy Doesn't Want You to Know

He May Not Be as Friendly as He Looks

A happy pizza delivery guy makes more money than a surly pizza delivery guy. That doesn't mean he's all that pleased when faced with bad behavior or poor judgment. These no-nos are bound to annoy the bearer of your hot, tasty pizza and encourage him to run over your petunias while backing out of the driveway.

  • You're passed out drunk when he arrives.
  • You take 15 minutes getting the money together and then quibble over your expired coupon.
  • You aren't home when he drives up because you've stepped out to the grocery store.
  • You think tipping is for suckers and explain that you're not giving him a cent, but no offense, it's a matter of principle.
  • It's dark, and your street light is out. You didn't turn on your porch light, and there's no numbered address on your house.
  • Mindy, your Doberman, is snarling, slobbering on his shoes and clearly headed for a canine meltdown.

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